Believe it or not, we get married because of five diverse feelings: feeling in-love, feeling like friends, feeling sexual about each other, feeling like family, and feeling like we want to help each other. Each of these feelings triggers neurotransmitters and hormones in our bodies to create a “need” to be with our partner. If that is so—and it’s been scientifically proven—then why does money play such a big part in today’s marriages? Is there, like, say, a “money hormone” that’s got to get triggered, too, for a long-term relationship to work in the modern world?
No. Rather, money, in a pay-to-play society does a lot to determine whether we’re going to be an effective couple. That’s because money helps us solve some of the problems that take modern day stress off our backs. To put it differently, the stress of modern life makes any relationship difficult at times. Even just being friends can be tough when you’re under stress.
There are so many stressors today that they can add up so high that it can knock a person over. Like the traffic stop after the insurance company fails to tell you that your car insurance check never got to them on the day that your boss tells you that your position is going to be eliminated. When we have enough money to cushion ourselves from these sorts of issues, it gives us more time and energy to feel the five feelings of love and to enjoy our relationship with our partner.
Across America, more and more people are acknowledging this–that money is central to their vision of a successful marriage. So they are waiting until their careers are well established before getting married. As far as companionship goes, they are learning to get by with the help of their friends. And twenty percent of the women are not going to get married and have a baby–as hard as they may try. They feel they are either too poor to be a success at marriage, or they get so involved in their careers that they just give up the thought of having a child. Some, of course, simply cannot conceive any children. Meanwhile, because of modern technology, age thirty is no longer the time the the biological clock stops.
But there is more going on here than what meets the eye. As we all know, the very nature of family and work is changing. Along with these social changes, the nature of marriage is changing, too. It is no longer a social contract with defined rules. Rather, each couple decides on their own what their relationship will be like.
So play it smart. Don’t be afraid to discuss your money concerns with your lover. This is an import part of building a relationship in today’s world. If you need a conversation starter, say that you think you’ve got the marriage, money hormone running through your veins! That’ll catch even the most distant lover’s attention.