I Created Blame Billy for people who want to Reinvent Their Lives and Their Relationships — Right Now!

Everybody knows that’s quite a challenge. To jump in and make a change takes a lot of motivation and new information. But valid information about how to change your life, your relationships, or your career, is hard to find. And sometimes, the motivation just won’t come.

I know–I’ve been through some changes. I was a college drop-out, who spent my spare time studying history, politics, and religion. I got into Zen, meditated, played guitar, performed, and traveled. I hung with some great people. Yet, I just didn’t feel like I was moving toward the future that was supposed to be mine. Sure, I’d climbed the mountain and “touched God,” but there was no deep sense of accomplishment. 

A friend of mine, who sensed my need for a deeper, more fundamental involvement with people, challenged me to become a psychologist. Then, he motivated me to get back in school and provided me with some guidance on my journey. During my PhD program, I realized that there really wasn’t anything that the great analysts could do that I couldn’t. I realized I could view the world through the lens of their psychological paradigms. I also could see the world through the lens of their personal hangups–as I knew how they thought. Then, I’d compare the differences and see where many of the greats got lost in the recesses of their minds.

That showed me I could create new paradigms that reflected the new discoveries taking place all around me. Previously, I had no idea that I had a gift. I just thought I was crazy because people didn’t see the things I saw. But suddenly, I realized that because I had neglected this natural psychic ability I had always felt empty inside. I also realized that there were millions of people drifting through life the same way that I had been.

After I learned to trust myself and my gift, I discovered the Romance Code: that there are 5 major feelings of love which work together to create all the different emotional states and stages of a romantic relationship. Because each partner has 5 major feelings of love—each of which can respond at different intensities, respond dysfunctionally, or be turned off—mismatches are inevitable.

Interestingly, the Romance Code can be used to work through the confusion in almost any relationship. Yet some people are afraid to utilize it to take charge of their love lives. That’s because they have internalized so much pain and blame, or disgust, that they cannot free themselves from their past. So they repeat the same dysfunctional relationship patterns over and over. And they won’t listen when you try to show them a better road to travel.

I discovered another major life-change problem while working as a psychotherapist and couples counselor. What I noticed was that maybe a third of the therapists I worked with just didn’t get what change was all about. They’d never gone though any major, self-motivated changes. So they could not empathize with their client’s feelings. Some of these folks actually put up roadblocks in the way of their clients desire to reinvent their lives. The chaos this created led me to question why psychologists were dwelling on illness as the foundation of their helping model when they could be dwelling on wellness.

I began to focus on the dynamics of wellness, change, and demonstrating how to actualize your future—right now! I worked on this issue until I discovered that anyone can reach out and touch the spirit of their destiny. You just need to believe you can change and find someone who can help you discover the next step on your journey.

So, if you want to reinvent your life, why not read the pages, here, and let me show you a few of the things you’ll need to know to expedite your journey. The material you see at Blame Billy are those missing pieces of the life-change puzzle you probably won’t see elsewhere. Occasionally, there will be guest columns that bring in contrasting perspectives and new information. Whatever you see here—it really isn’t about me. It’s about my research on life, love, and relationships. It’s also about what other’s tell me.

Feel free to talk to me about your ideas and your world. I’m serious. Use the Feedback Form on the “Contact Dr Billy” tab and tell me what’s going on.

And remember, this is the latest information on love, relationships, and reinventing yourself. If something goes wrong, and, let’s say, your lover leaves or your friends chuckle about the new you – it’s not your fault! You were just following my instructions.


So you’re not to blame when the going gets crazy. No. From now on, when all else fails, you can … BLAME BILLY!

-Dr Billy Kidd