Submitting Women and Intimidated Men – What Are You Talking About?

Posted on 23. Dec, 2010 by in Guest Posts: Relationships

By Dr. Cornelia Gibson          Believe it or not, women—well, most of us, or let’s say, some of us—would not mind submitting to the man in our life. What we are really afraid of is the man abusing that power or leading us down a dead end street. The expression “a happy wife, a happy life” is so true. We would give anything to the man in our life if the giving was mutual. However, so often once the man is happy then that is the end of the giving.

Dr Cornelia Gibson

Dr Cornelia Gibson

Who’s intimidating who?

 I would not necessarily say that men are intimidated by us successful women. Rather, I would say that men believe they have to do more, make more, and be more than us. In reality, we are not trying to change men. Surprise, surprise! But men start feeling they are valued less, while at the same time, feeling pressure to do more. However, I have secretly been told that the pressure comes from within themselves and from their friends. When a man is comfortable with who he is and what he is—and I might add, whose he is—then the intimidation factor does not come in to play. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Real friends?

 I have personal experience with a relationship in which he, the man of the house, felt pressure to do what I was doing. When I started to continue my education, so did he. He took two classes and dropped out. Both starting and stopping was his choice. I supported him and stood behind him in both of these decisions. His friends however taunted him in the beginning. They told him that he was just trying to keep up with me. Then these friends told him that he was going to lose me to someone more educated. I loved him for who he was, but he started believing all the idiotic outside influences.  Let’s face it, he needed new friends. They were not very supportive. I have other examples about friendship, but you can only find them in my novel, Surviving Broken Promises. I know—I’m such a tease!

Questions and Answers

Q:  Where are all the men?

A:  That’s what we want to know.

Q:  Are you intimidated by us?

A:  We think not.

Q:  Do you want us to slow down and be less than our full potential?

A:  We won’t.

Q:  You want us to submit?

A:  We will if you’re worth it and you understand it’s a two-way street.

Q:  Where are all the women?

A:  Sitting at home because a man has not asked us out. However, some of us have no problem asking the man out, we just choose not because it’s easier that way.

 Dr. Cornelia Gibson holds doctorate degrees in counseling psychology and education. She has written a fiction novel about relationship issues that both men and women have found interesting, funny, entertaining. It also has initiated many relationship debates.

 Dr. Gibson’s ten-plus years of education taught her how to listen to both sides of a story and make both sides feel comfortable rather than attacked. Many of her male friends have told her that she is a good listener and that she doesn’t talk too much. She tells men, “Please don’t compare me with the women in your lives—humph—because with over $100,000 in student loans. I would hope I have learned something useful, non-intimating, and—delicious!”

 Dr. Gibson is currently working on a stage play called Surviving Broken Promises. Her web site is Surviving Broken Promises.

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3 Responses to “Submitting Women and Intimidated Men – What Are You Talking About?”

  1. Dawn McKinney 25 December 2010 at 4:53 PM #

    that’s what i was thinking. a man must be cool with himself in order to be cool with me. thanx.

  2. Cynthia Weary 6 January 2011 at 11:18 AM #

    I do agree that if a man is comfortable, honest, and real with himself, he will be honest with women. I know that it is important that men have a personal relationship with The Lord and practical application in his life in order to make any relationship work and grow through(good and not so good times). My questions: Why do some many men lack the common sense to know that real women like to be acknowledged (a simple hello, how are you, have a nice day and you look nice). I have been to Jamaica twice and the experience of black men greeting, helping, smiling, acknowledging, pampering, and taking the INITIATIVE was great. I know there is a lot of good men in the US and I really hope that good men and good women communicate and connect with one another. I am a single mother, and thank God for all of my accomplishments and love that I have. It would be nice to have a male that takes the initiative in communicating, asking me out for a friendly dinner, movie, etc. I don’t have a problem with asking a man out but since I have to do everything myself(work, mothering, taking care of a home, paying bills, fixing repairs or paying someome to fix the repair, etc.) a change would be great.

    • Dr. Billy Kidd 17 January 2011 at 8:39 PM #

      Years ago, a woman voiced the same complaint when she told me, “I’m tired of carrying the weight in everything I do, including my relationships.” Today, I get questions all the time about why some men do not seem to want to communicate. Or, at least men in the U.S. seem less sociable when compared to those in some other countries. People tell me it is because society is changing so fast, here, that a lot of men feel insecure about serious relationships. Others say all too many people are self-centered in the U.S. and that’s just the way a lot of men handle this situation. Still others say there is a culture of singlehood that is gaining power and people in it do not want to have serious relationships. Yet … many people are moving back to knowing that they want an authentic relationship and won’t settle for less.

      Right now, it’s important to remember that you’ve got to hold on to what you’ve got, because you’ve got a lot, even though some days it’s hard to believe it. I know. I’ve faced this same thing in the past.

      -Dr Billy