It doesn’t matter who you are. You could be a shrink and have written ten books on romantic relationships, but changes are you don’t know diddly about love. I say that because I was one of the psychologists who recently broke the The Love Code. So, let me tell you how that works.
The feeling of love is created by a biological system inside your body, just like the sexual system that makes you want to have sex. But the in-love system is different. It’s run by hormones and neurotransmitters that make you think about someone and want to be with them. You think about that person so much, you think they are the One. OK?
So, if your boyfriend says, hey, he’s having dinner with another woman, and oh, she’s just a friend, but you can’t come along because you’re not one of their friends–your boyfriend isn’t in love with you, because he’s not thinking about you. He’s thinking about this other woman. That’s what being crazy in love is all about–thinking about the one you want to be with.
But here’s what’s wild about it. The in-love crazy feeling slips away within 30 months of falling in love. That’s what can make it feel like the honeymoon is over or you woke up in bed with a stranger. But that only happens if you don’t move into the second stage of being in love.
That’s when you feel rewarded just to see your partner. Three years or thirty years down the road, she’s still the one. That’s because neurotransmitters and hormones fire off in your head and give you a feeling of reward just to be with your partner. You’re not thinking about her all the time like you did when you were crazy in love. It just feels good to see her and it still feels cool when you buy her flowers.
To view my video about how the feeling of being in love is created, go to You Don’t Know Diddly About Love.